MONKEY BUSINESS

My mum was cooking, holding a pan,

And a hard ladle in her hand,

Just as the batter was becoming nice and fine,

My mum felt a chill go down her spine…

She felt like James Bond, she felt like a spy,

Discovered by the enemy’s watchful eye….

Slowly, by instinct, she turned around,

And caught the gaze of a creature, furry and brown.

At first she didn’t know what to think,

She rubbed her eyes, gave a blink,

Then she realized the situation wasn’t funky,

Sitting near the kitchen window was a monkey!

She shook her ladle, gave a heart-stopping scream,

Shaking her daughter out of a sweet daydream.

But the monkey did nothing but sit and stare,

While my mum responded with a ‘monkey, beware!’

 It took its own time, waddled over to the bottles,

And what it picked up, made us all chortle –

It was an empty peanut butter jar, with nothing to hide –

Yet the monkey tried to open it, to see if something was inside,

My mum tried to appear as a large scary threat,

But the monkey did nothing, the monkey didn’t fret.

And let me tell you, the monkey must love bread,

For it chose another bottle – this one of cheese spread.

My mum had had enough, she couldn’t take anymore –

She made her way, and opened the kitchen door.

‘Hyash! Hyash!’ She screamed and she shouted,

Now the monkey was startled a little, undoubted.

My mother shrieked in Monkenese, ‘DON’T YOU DARE COME HERE!’

The creature gave one frightful look, and then it disappeared.