Why I left Facebook

It's a blurry picture. You can see just a bit of a flared nose, and strands of hair covering what's supposed to be a heavily made up eye. The smile is supposed to be the main focus of the picture, and it is what stands out. A side smile, with around 8 teeth showing, and a hint of a dimple on the cheek. There's something black stuck in between the last two teeth.
There are 107 likes and comments like 'hi beauty queen ;)', 'omg, why u do this to me? y u so pretty? lou u :*', and 'omg. U. R. HAWWT.'
OMG. But no, you are not.
Did I mention this was the appreciation received within 5 minutes of posting that pic?
Facebook. Blue, cool, connecting.
For many people, Facebook and loneliness go together as well as curd and noodles, that is to say, they don't go together at all. And so there's no doubt, that when I told people I left Facebook since I felt lonely, they looked at me like I had come from outer space in a Hawaiian skirt. But I was being completely honest about why I had left the popular networking site.
I think two things did it.
The first was that ... well, there are always these best friends who keep posting pictures with each other, labeling each other as 'sista', 'bfffffff', and 'omg, how am i gonna live without u?'...
And you know, it's all great for them, it really is. I just didn't have anyone like that.
I mean I do, I have friends who really do care about me, who put up with my stupidities and mistakes, and still love me. Just not on Facebook. And when you don't have people like that on Facebook, you feel startlingly insignificant to others. There comes a time when you're just watching others put up those photos, and long captions, filled with these mentions of inside jokes, but you never seem to be included in them. It's like you're a part of it, and yet you're not. You exist, but not many people seem to care.
And that's when the loneliness started.
The second thing just helped reinforce this feeling.
It was the profile picture of a girl (who's pretty no doubt) which had gotten some 80+ likes. The thing about the picture was that it was fairly simple, and sure she looked good (otherwise why would she have put it up?), but what struck me was this: if this picture had been mine, I doubt I would have gotten anywhere above 30 likes.
These realizations do things to your self-confidence, it makes you doubt yourself in ways which aren't healthy. You look at yourself in the mirror and try to find out what's wrong with you. Is it your off-center nose? Or the moles on your chin? No, you may not be the prettiest girl in the world, but you had always liked your face...till now.
And so I hit the deactivate button, and I left.
Not that I didn't keep coming back, of course. It took me some time to detach myself from the site, and each time I came back, I scrolled through my news-feed nonstop, like how someone drinks water when they're super thirsty, swallowing huge gulps without stopping till the cup's been drained.
I still do go on FB sometimes, but I've realized that life without FB is not only possible, it's easier.
No, I'm not a popular kid who will get a 100 likes for a photo, or 30 likes for a smart-alecky comment.
No, I'm not pretty or super funny or entertaining.
I know that, but it helps when I'm not reminded of it every second I'm on the net.
So now, I'm just left with Gmail, and Blogger, of course.
Not as interesting, but honestly, not as depressing either.
Facebook is addictive and boring, attractive yet fairly useless at times, and connecting but lonely.
Facebook is a hub of contradictions - something people get to know only after joining the site.
So the next time there's a post on how great FB is, go ahead, and hit the like button. But I think I'll pass.

To Whomsoever It May Concern

Date: 14/02/2014

To Whomsoever It May Concern

I have no idea just where to look,
Where could you be hiding?
Someone who can read me like a book,
Someone in whom it's worth confiding.

I have no idea how long to wait,
When will you come my way?
Patience isn't my strongest trait -
Hurry up, I don't have all day.

I have no idea where to be,
Not that I've ever been good with directions.
You'll tease and laugh, when you're with me,
Only your eyes will show your affection.

You won't be like the other boys,
You'll never be a flirt.
And while I make a hell lot of noise,
You'll be the shy introvert.

We'll become friends, slow and steady,
Though being opposites, we'll fight no doubt.
To forgive and forget, we'll not be ready,
Instead we'll scream and shout.

Neither of us will give in with ease,
But you might just do me a favor -
Quietly, but I'll be pleased,
And it'll be a sweet moment to savor.

You're going to drive me up the wall,
Just like I'll do you.
I hope you're cute and not too tall,
And you've got them looks too.

You'll be funny, you'll make me laugh,
And we'll talk just through our eyes.
We'll be on the phone for three hours and a half,
And we won't even realize.

Our life will be fun, and joyful, and long,
50 years of marriage: we're here to stay.
I hope you're there, and I'm not wrong,
And when time is right, I hope you'll come my way.

With love,
Priya

To cRacKLe from Pop (between pigeons)

Dear Crackle, (Or I'll just call you Crack),
It's been a week since you were attacked.
When the kite swooped down, and stole you away -
Honestly, the scariest day,
And the saddest one too, that I've ever known,
One minute you're with me, the next I'm alone.
The Fates can be cruel, evil, unfair,
I spent the next three days in despair,
Spending my days behind the clay pot,
It would suffice to say - that kite scared me a lot.
I wouldn't move. No, I wouldn't budge.
Papa called and cooed and beckoned and nudged.
The others came back, the pigeon intruders,
If anything they were louder, and meaner and ruder.
Papa yelled at me too, 'think of your brother!' he said,
Which is all I did, thoughts of you filled my head ...
You were a feisty, fiery, speckled chick,
You pulled legs and pranks, and too many tricks.
You were so loud, while I was so soft,
I was on the ground, while you were aloft.
You were the energy, the mad, the fire ...
my opposite, yet you did inspire -
Me, now I fly too, catching the wisps of clouds,
I coo and call, I'm clear and loud.
From inside I'm still the shy, timid Pop,
But I've taken your spirit, and I can't be stopped.
It's been a week, and so much has changed,
Once you have read this, you'll find it so strange!
Yet, I know you help me, for we always helped each other,
I just hope that you're proud of me, brother.

Solitario

It's funny how a moment can change everything.
Just one moment (keval ek pal),
Aur din badal jaatha hain ...
(And the day changes).

Sometimes, there's no reason (Il n'y a pas de raison).
Hum dukhi ho jaathe hain, aise hi (We become sad, simply).
It's a knot in the chest...
          .... a lump of sadness
that refuses to leave.

Like a mosquito, that won't stop buzzing in your ear ... (buzz .. buzz ..)

And the others,
       they L
               A
               U
               G
               H...
And it's easy for them (asaan hain), because they're pretty, and funny, and have everything in the world.

And you laugh with them (tum unke saath hasthe ho) ... but the sadness stays.
And attacks you when you are alone.

For that's what you are.
Against the backdrop of a busy city, with busy people,
against the endless night sky,
against your muddled life - your school (padhna bhi zaroori hain mere dost)
                                             and your friends, and emotions.
You're one heart among the millions.
One. Just one.
A speck in the universe.
A little, worthless dot of dust, in this vast expanse of darkness and gas.
(Take some time to absorb that).
One.
And so in the end, it's you and only you.
Your heart beats, your brain thinks, your fingers move.
But it's all you.
We are born alone, and we go alone.
With others, or by yourself. You are alone.
But so is everyone else.
It just feels so much worse (kitna bura lagta hain...), when there is no one else to be lonely with you.
Forever alone.
Solitario.